I’ve sat down a couple of times to write a little update on Lily. In the past, I’ve been pretty honest about each new milestone, our setbacks, and emerging facets of personality. It’s hard to put my finger on, but for some reason, writing these down for Lily has suddenly started to feel too personal and a little bit like a breach of confidence and trust. When I ask myself why I’m still comfortable writing about Lu and Luna or why I used to be more comfortable writing about Lily, I think some of it has to do with age and some of it has to do with a certain commonality of experience in our first few years of life. But there’s more, and I’m going with my gut here. I’m sad to let go of this reliable method of archiving my thoughts, but I’m hopeful that I can find a more personal way to record some of these progressions for Lily to look at in the future. I’m also thinking that a quick interview like the one that follows might be a way to protect Lily’s privacy but also share a little bit of her light with our family and friends flung far and wide that I don’t often get a chance to connect with individually.
1 If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?
To fly, cuz I could just see the whole world if I flied.
2 What are two things about you that you’re really proud of?
(This one was hard.) That I’m a big sister, and oh! I have another one! How brave I am. In Costa Rica, I ziplined.
3 What’s something really funny you’ve seen?
I saw something today. On the way to school, I saw a kid and a mommy and they were flipping onto a bench. (For the record, I did not see this ;))
4 What’s something you wish for?
I wish for the tooth fairy to come right now.
5 What is a good memory you have?
I think you know this remember. When I was born. Do you remember that? No. Oh I know! When Freyja was born and I got to hold her and we read stories together.
6 What’s something you’d like to get better at?
Swim. You knew I would say that, mom.
7 What’s something really amazing you’ve learned recently?
That’s hard! Well, I actually learned this a long time ago and I never told you. It’s a song and it says, “Cinderella dressed in yellow how many roses can you grow? 123456789 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25.”
Luna is creeping up on 8 months, and I’ve hardly had a chance to jot down the milestones as they arrive. And though I wish I could freeze each moment in time and remember them with clarity as the years go by, I know too that part of being present for these moments when our lives are full and fast moving means that there isn’t always time for documentation.
Oh my. I know I said this with each of the girls, but with Luna, I really feel like the months are flying by. These days, she’s pulling herself up on everything, and when she’s standing and looking so old, I’m just sort of flabbergasted. I mean. Didn’t I just give birth to her?
And I could just eat her up. I suspect that all babies are this delicious and wonderful, and it’s only after having one or two that I’ve really been able to relax and fully enjoy this time. But you guys! Luna is so smiley, so lovey! Somehow, she already has 8 teeth coming through, and her two bottoms are just too cute when she smiles wide, which is pretty often. It’s rare that she’s fussy or upset, and most of the time, she’s content to watch her sisters, play, and now bear crawl and pull herself up (usually to scope out what her sisters are doing). When I pick her up, she curls her little body into mine, sticks her face into my neck and coos. My heart is mush. Complete mush. Sometimes when I’m wearing her in the baby carrier, she’ll lean back and we’ll just stare into each other’s eyes, and my insides do this little summersault and time stands still.
It’s a baby romance. I’m stocking up on cheeky kisses and nursing grins, because I guess these last ones will have to last me a lifetime (she weeps).
But really, I’m just filled up with gratitude. Luna, you are a blessing. You make all of us smile, you make all of us swoon. Your trail name is Awesome Sauce, partially because that’s the name of your primary fuel, but mostly because you’re that ingredient for all of us. Life is better with you.
So, for posterity, let’s account for some milestones:
Your teeth began popping through at four months, you began sitting at five months, and you began crawling at seven and a half months. These days, you’re pulling yourself up, and it’s pretty clear that you’ve got your sights on cruising. You began your first taste of solids at 6 months, and now you LOVE food. I give you little nibbles of everything: cheese, bread, eggs, nuts, fruit, veggies, hummus, you name it, you love it. Though I’m not actually sure how much you’re eating and how much Oscar is cleaning up beneath your high chair. All I can say is that it’s gone.
Between dropping off and picking up your big sister at kindergarten and running after Lu, you nap on the go most of the time these days. I do try to get you down in bed when I can, but it’s a constant battle to find the down time. You sleep well through the night, and you’re not much of a comfort nurser, which I suppose has its perks, but I’m trying to hang onto this baby phase, so come on! I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to slow down and snuggle for a little bit!
I could go on, but I think I might go snuggle you instead. You just smell so good, and your soft little snores are just the best. I love you, little Luna.